Initial Attraction

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Last week (May 16) marked 6 years since Jeremy and I first met and started dating (we count the day we met as the start of our relationships, even though we didn’t make it official until a few weeks later. After the first meeting, we both actively pursued each other and neither had any other romantic interests).

Our anniversary correspond with me reading a prompt online; “what first attracted you to your spouse”.

The prompt made me really take a look back at those first few conversations/interactions I had with Jeremy. What initially drew me in and welcome his attention.

The physical is easiest to pinpoint. I’ve always had a “type”. Tall, white, skinny, county and short hair. Aside from one half-latino guy I briefly dated, all of my boyfriends have met at least 4 out of 5 the criteria. I suppose I’m a creature of habit!

Just one look at Jeremy and I knew that he was 99% my type (taller than me, white, skinny and with a military hair cut). The final selling piece was his boots. At the time we met, Jeremy was going through his “California” phase; he thought that California girls didn’t like country boys, so he was trying to be more suave. But he couldn’t part with his boots. Authentic and well worn cowboy boots; still covered with dirt and cow poop from his days on the farm.

Those boots were what got me hooked.

But the physical is such a small part of what initially attracted me to Jeremy.

What was most attractive to me was his goodness.

With just a few conversations, I knew that he as a old-fashioned and honorable man.

The kind of man who would answer his phone at 2 am and drive out to a bar to pick up a drunk friend who needed a ride. The kind of man who would pull over to help a stranger change a tire. The kind of man who wouldn’t pressure a girl for sex or try to take advantage of a situation (aka, our exact situation the night we met)

I think that drew me to him because that is a quality that I respect and admire. Something that I wish I had more of.

It also drew me to him, because it’s a quality of a good life partner, and I’m a practical women. Yes, I wanted love and butterflies, but I also wanted a man who was honorable and trustworthy. A man who I knew would honor him commitment. A man who would never cheat on me or hurt me.

A man like Jeremy.

What qualities initially attracted you to your spouse?

5 Years

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Today is Jeremy and I’s 5 year wedding anniversary.

I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that I’ve been married for 5 years. It sounds like such a long amount of time, but it doesn’t feel like it.

I still feel head-over-heels in love with my husband. It still feels new and fresh, because everyday I fall in love with him in a different way. Our love continues to develop and change as our relationships develops and changes.

“They called them crazy when they started out, said {19’s} too young to know what loves about….”

IMG_2000And in a way, they were right. The way I loved him 5 years ago, was a young and excited kind of love. I loved the idea of marriage with Jeremy, the idea of him as a husband. I loved that he loved me. That he made me happy and made me smile everyday.

Now, I love his loyalty and commitment to me and our marriage. I love the simple everyday moments that make up our marriage; eating dinner together, watching NCIS, having our weekend breakfast at IHOP, etc. I love how completely he knows me, my quirks and my habits; and how deeply I have grown to know him. I love his moody side and his goofy sarcasm.

I’ve seen the best of him and the worst of him, and I still chose him, everyday.

In another 5 years I image that I will look back on our marriage and see even more change. I will grow to love Jeremy not only as a husband, but as the father of our children; as my partner in life.

Our life will change, our marriage will grow, and our love will continue to adapt and change.

TBT: Our 1-Year Wedding Anniversary

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Jeremy came home in February 2010, after being in Florida for 5 months for school. He arrived just in time to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary, on February 14, 2010

Getting married on Valentines Day has seemed like a romantic and fun idea at the time. Plus, I knew Jeremy would never forget the date!

But as we approached our anniversary it quickly became obvious that I probably should have thought it through a little bit more.

Everything books up way in advance. Everything is 10x more expensive. And everything is 100x busier. We tried to go out to eat, get a reservation, book a trip…and it was all booked up, super busy or crazy expensive.

So we decided to do something low-key, a picnic at Mt. Soledad, one of my favorite view points in San Diego.

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It was still very busy, but there was enough grass for everyone there, including a very awkward couple who looked to be on their second or third date lol

We have since made Mt. Soledad a tradition for our anniversary, instead of trying to deal with all the couples out celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s become “our place”.

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TBT: Our 1 Year Anniversary

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I always think it’s very telling that my husband and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary AFTER we got married lol

You know you got married quickly when you don’t even make it to your first milestone as a boyfriend/girlfriend couple.

We still celebrated our 1 year anniversary of being together, even though we had been married for 3 months by the time it came around. I wanted to acknowledge the landmark, it was the first time I had ever experienced a 1-year anniversary. My longest relationship before Jeremy was only 3 months!

Sometimes I think I’m crazy for marrying the first guy I ever had a long-term relationship with. But I guess when you know, you know. There is no need to date and sample all the fish in the sea when you find the right fish on your first cast. (like that fishing metaphor? lol)

We did the typical date night, a fancy dinner at a restaurant over looking the water at sunset. Jeremy even wore a polo shirt! Fancy πŸ˜‰

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Anniversary Celebration Recap

The last entry in the Newley Wed Link-Up: 1-year Anniversary Recap

Alison & Jeremy

1-Year Anniversary

February 14, 2010

Jeremy and I had big plans for our 1-year anniversary. He came back just week or so before our anniversary, after being in Florida for 5 months. He had made a reservation for us to go on a weekend retreat through the military discount store (ITT), with horseback riding and a cabin of our own.

Unfortunately, when he came home and went to confirm our reservation, he was informed that they lost our information, and the retreat was sold out 😦

So we had to improvise. And let me just say, for anyone that is setting a wedding date, do not get married on Valentines Day! It sounds romantic, and you will never forget your anniversary, but everything is 100x busier and 100x more expensive.

So there we were, a week before our anniversary/Valentines Day and no reservations anywhere. He tried to get us on a harbor cruise, he tried wine tasting, so many places and they were all booked for Valentines Day.

In the end, we decided to just have a picnic. We picked up some food and drove up to Mt. Soledad, which has an amazing view of San Diego. It was crowded with other couples, but it was simple and relaxing.

We ended up making it a tradition, we’ve gone to Mt. Soledad every year since then for our anniversary (the ones he is home for, at least).

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View from Mt. Soledad

 

TBT: Our Love Story {Part 4} 5 Year Anniversary!

Today is a special “Throwback Thursday” post because it is the 5 year anniversary of the day Jeremy and I met! What perfect timing considering I left off my story last week right before I met Jeremy for the first time.

You may have thought that the hot cowboy I was talking to was going to end up being my husband, but just like How I Met Your Mother, I like to throw in some curve balls. That was in fact, NOT my husband. He didn’t blow me off till later that night lol.

So sexy cowboy man blows me off for some slutty cowgirl (I later found out that the guys name is Henderson and he works with Jeremy and is a total player. Sounds like I dodged a bullet there!). However, my friend Vanessa is still chatting up her man (whose name is Hawkins, they later dated for a few months) and they decide they want to dance.

So once more I scope out his friends out on the dance floor and find this incredibly awkward uncoordinated white boy trying to “dance” with a girl who is quickly stepping away from him. Yes…that is my husband. No sexy tall cowboy for me, I find myself an award 19-year old Marine who couldn’t pick up a girl to save his life lol. No smooth moves from my man!

I love how in movies, whenever a couple meets there is always dramatic music and the crowds seems to part and their eyes meet and they just know that they have found their soul mate. Well, my life is not a movie apparently, because none of that happened lol.

I almost didn’t go up to him, because of the above mentioned horrible dancing skills, but also the very unattractive Ed Hardy shirt and the ridiculous amount of gel in his hair. What saved him from me not even attempting to talk to him, was when I finished my visual appraisal and saw his boot. Cowboy boots. But not just any cowboy boots; authentic, worn on the farm, worked in cowboy boots. These boots were not for show like a lot of the guys who dress up to go to a country bar, they were well worn and genuine.

I figured that any man who wears boots like that is worth talking to and getting to know, so I walked up to him and asked him to dance.

Yep, I picked up my husband at the bar, not the other way around haha.

He was of course a horrible dancer. After we finished dancing the group of us (my friend Vanessa was still all over Hawkins) went off to the side to chat and hang out. I don’t remember a single thing that I said to Jeremy, but I do remember the moment when he suddenly left and I was ditched for the second time in the same night! It’s a good thing I’m a confident woman or I would have give up at that point. But apparently whatever we had talked about was enough for me to be very interested, and I didn’t let him slip away for long.

Good thing too, considering that five years later we are happily married!

To be continued….

4-Year Anniversary

Today is mine and Jeremy’s 4-year wedding anniversary!

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I’ve been thinking for a while of how to document this day. Should I write a post about how our marriage has grown in the last 4 years? Reminisce about my favorite memory from our wedding day? There are too many choices!

I decided to write about the moment I was 100% sure I wanted to marry Jeremy.

To warn you, this story starts off a little unromantic, but I promise it has a happy ending…which I’m sure you can tell by the wedding photo above lol.

Jeremy and I had been dating for 6 months when he proposed. It wasn’t a huge surprise, we had been talking about it for a few months and picked out the ring together.

But announcing our engagement, setting a wedding date and having a ring on my finger made it all seem very real and kind of scary.

I’m not the kind of person to follow my heart or be spontaneous. I make smart, well thought out decisions that I predict will help me reach the goals I have set for my life.

I will be honest and say that I had doubts. I worried about if we were compatible enough, did we want the same future, could I really promise that I would still be in love with him in 30 years?

I read a few books about marriage, how to know if he is “the one”, what emotions and doubts other brides have gone though, etc.

So many people say that if you aren’t 100% sure you should marry someone, then you shouldn’t. But I think it’s normal to have some fears. Marriage is a HUGE deal, it’s a major life choice. I think being a little worried is normal, it means you are taking it seriously and understand what a life changing experience marriage is.

In the end, it wasn’t any of the books that I read that made me realize I was 100% sure I wanted to marry Jeremy, it was one little thought.

I briefly thought about telling Jeremy that I wasn’t ready and wanted to wait, and then I thought about how he would feel hearing that and the possibility that he might not want to be with me.

That was all it took, just one moment of thinking about life without Jeremy.

To be clear, I didn’t marry him because I was afraid he would leave me, I married him because thinking about not having him in my life made me realize that I don’t want to live my life without him. I realized that he is the man that I want by my side today, tomorrow, and every day after that.Β That was all the certainty I needed, realizing that I don’t want a future without him.

So when I walked down that aisle on February 14, 2009, and saw Jeremy’s smiling face as my destination, I was 100% sure that I wanted to commit myself to that man for the rest of my life.

I can’t know for certain that I will still love him in 30 years. I can’t know that we will be compatible when we finally become parents and I can’t know if we will always want the same things in the future when we are old and retired.

But what I do know is that he is the partner I want in my life, and I am willing to work though whatever challenge come our way because a life without him isn’t a life that I want.

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