The topic of divorce has been on my mind a lot lately. Not because of anything going on in my marriage (thankfully!), but because it seems to be surrounding me. It feels like every time I log onto social media I’m bombarded with failing relationships.
As a (once) young military couple, Jeremy and I have gotten to know many other young military couples. I’ve also volunteered on base and become involved with numerous online support sites for military spouses where you can get an “intimate” look into the lives of 2,000+ young women.
So many of those girls that I have gotten to know over mine and Jeremy’s 7 year relationship, are now divorced.
Not to sounds like a pessimist, but I’m not altogether that surprised by most of the relationships that have failed. Young marriages filled with partying, immature couples, domestic violence, military enforced distance, lack of income after EAS, or the stress of an “oops” baby at 19 years old.
The reason this topic has stuck with me lately, is that a couple that was very similar to me and Jeremy recently got divorced. She had her bachelors and masters degree, he was military, they seemed very happy and in love and had been married for 5 years without children (focusing on school/career and being prepared to transition out of the military).
Then suddenly: Divorce
The fact that their relationship seemed to so closely echo my own has caused me some anxiety. I feel the need to “fix” my marriage; to somehow protect it from a potential divorce.
…..let’s just say that my approach did not go over so well with my husband, who is much more of an “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” kind of person.
Which brings up the question: is there a point where you can only do so much to build up a marriage? Or is it limitless?
I’m trying my husband’s approach now, instead of my anxiety provoked “LOVE ME! WE NEED A PERFECT MARRIAGE!” strategy. But I can’t help but continue to feel that every day that isn’t overflowing with love and romance is a step towards the dreaded “D” word. No marriage ends up in divorce without there being signs first. But how do you know what the signs are? Compared to what is just normal ups and downs of any marriage?