The topic of divorce has been on my mind a lot lately. Not because of anything going on in my marriage (thankfully!), but because it seems to be surrounding me. It feels like every time I log onto social media … Continue reading
I’ve been seeing this photo a few places online over the last few days; always sparking some kind of debate
The responses are what you would expect:
Women citing that they got married after (some time less than a year) and they have been married for (10+ years).
The other half of the women saying that they aren’t married yet, and they are waiting 2+ years to tie the knot and/or they waited 2+ years to get married and that as a result their marriage is better/deeper/stronger/etc.
To summarize, everyone thinks that their decision was the right one and the other side was wrong.
Everyone but me.
I got married after knowing my husband for 9 months.
I’m still very happily married (over 5 years)
I DO NOT recommend getting married as quickly as I did.
Let me first make it clear that I don’t regret my choice to marry quickly. I love my husband very much and I am so happy with how my life has turned out.
But I will be the first to say that I did not know Jeremy completely or fully when we got married. After knowing each other for 9 months we had just scratched the surface.
I hadn’t seen him interact with his mother. I hadn’t seen how he would treat a sick animal. I hadn’t seen him sleep deprived or angry.
I only knew part of who he is, and I liked what I had discovered enough to promise my future to him.
I got lucky that the rest of him was just as amazing as the parts that I knew when we said “I do”
Our marriage has taken work, of course, it’s not all luck. But luck certainly payed a big part of it.
I am lucky that he is the kind of man who has infinite patience with his mentally ill mother. I am lucky that he cleans up our puppy’s trow up at 2am without a single complaint. I am lucky that he never yells, insults or curses at me when he is angry, no matter how sleep deprived he is.
I am luck that he is a better man that who I thought he was when we got married.
People are complex. To this day there are still things that I am learning about myself. So while you may be a lucky couple that ends up with 50+ years of happy marriage after getting hitched after 2 months. I think the chances of long term success are much higher if you take the time to truly get to know the person you will be stuck with for the rest of your life.