TBT: Our Love Story {So Easy}

For the next week Jeremy and I spent hours on the phone talking and texting since I was spending the week up in my home town getting read to move all my furniture to my new apartment in San Diego. Those fun days of a new relationship where you have so much to talk about and tell each other. Staying up late on the phone, smiling with every new text message…the butterflies of a new relationship.

I distinctly remember the day we added each other on MySpace. Yes, we began dating before Facebook, damn I feel old lol. Jeremy had a stupid “About Me” that said something along the line of “I like girls and I like to party”. Which is hilarious because he hates to party and is the most boring guy I’ve ever dated.

After we shared our MySpace pages with each other he moved me to his #4. Remember the days when you could rank your friends and family so everyone could know how important they are to you? lol. After less than a week of knowing each other he was so into me I got the coveted position of being the 4th important person in his life, after his brothers and sister.

I thought it was creepy lol.

Sometimes I look back at those first few week and think how easy it was. Maybe it’s because we were young 19-year-olds, but there were no games, no waiting 3 days to call or trying to figure out if they other person is really into you or not.

I told him I liked him, he told me he liked me. We officially began dating a week later when I told him that I wanted to have a relationship and asked him to be exclusive with me.

Simple. Easy. Straightforward.

Now a days I hear my single friends talk about the single dating scene and it sounds so complicated. All these games people go through.

Is it to protect themselves from heartbreak? Are they scared to be open about their feelings because they have been burned so many times in the past? Was it so easy for us because we were young and hadn’t experienced much heartbreak yet?

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Our first photo together – June 2008

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Memorial Day – {what it means to me}

This morning when I woke up my newsfeed was filled with Memorial Day posts, almost completely shared by my fellow military friends.

When I was younger, Memorial Day was lost on me. Like many American’s I simply enjoyed my day off from work/school and celebrated the start of summer.

Now that I am a military wife and I am so completely immersed in the military life, Memorial Day is an emotional and powerful day for me.

As I’ve said before, my husband has a safe job as far as military jobs go. He is a helicopter mechanic, which means that even when he is deployed to a combat zone he stays on a secure base.

The luxury I have of not being filled with worry when he serves overseas is not one that all military spouses get to enjoy. I wanted to take today to share a story of one of those spouses, and her husband who was KIA in Afghanistan in 2010.

Jeremy deployed to Afghanistan for his first deployment in November of 2010.

During this time I decided to get more connected with the military community and meet fellow military spouses for support as we were going though our first deployment. I went to a few get togethers and BBQ’s, met a lot of young military spouses and added a ton of new wives on Facebook in hopes of sparking a friendship.

One of those spouses was Katie.

Her husband was infantry, and he deployed on his second tour around the same time that Jeremy did.

On December 1, 2010 he was killed in action while serving in Afghanistan.

I didn’t know Katie very well, one quick meeting at a busy house party and a brief FB friendship, and I had never met her husband. However, his death impacted me in a very significant way.

For the first time I knew someone who had lost a loved on in war. Not Vietnam or WWII, but someone my own age, serving in a war being fought in my generation.

Having an Uncle or a Grandfather who served years ago, one that you remember in passing on Veteran’s Day or wear a Go Army shirt for on the 4th of July is a completely different experience then sending your spouse, child or parent off to a war with the knowledge that they might not come home.

I used to be that person. Although my husband is a Marine and was serving in Afghanistan, I hadn’t yet realized what that really means.

It means that not everyone has a homecoming. Not all the men who wear the same uniform that my husband does will get to come home to their family. It means that war is real. It’s more than just a flag you fly at half mast on Memorial Day. It’s widows who will never feel their husbands arms around them again. It’s children who will grow up without their fathers.

Today is the day that we remember those men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice while serving their nation. Today is the day that I remember Chad and Katie.

TBT: The One-Night-Stand

Last week I left off with my husband ditching me at the bar. Romanic first meeting right? lol

My friend Vanessa was still talking up her man, so when I told her that Jeremy had left, she told her man to text him and come back. She is a very assertive woman. To this day she still claims responsibility for me and Jeremy ending up together because of that text lol

Jeremy later told me that he had left because he didn’t think a city girl like me would be interested in a simple country boy like him. How sweet, right?! Little did he know that a simple country boy is just what I was looking for.

After he got the text message, he came back and spent the rest of the night talking and dancing with me. His version of “putting on the moves”. We stayed out till the bar closed at 2am.

And this is where my story splits. I have the PG version, and the R rated version.

My family gets the PG version, which involves all of us going out to Denny’s after the bar closed and then parting ways with a kiss and a phone number exchange.

The R version is what actually happened…Vanessa and I took the boys back to our apartment for then night. What can I say, I was 19 and I was kind of slutty back then. But it all worked out in the end, so I’ve never regretted what happened that night (which was NOT sex, for everyone that is wondering lol).

If you remember from the beginning of my story, we had no furniture in our new apartment. So Jeremy and I slept on the robin-egg blue couch in the living room and stayed up talking and fooling around.

I don’t remember much about what we talked about (although both of us were completely sober), the usual life history and interests I’m sure. What I do remember is that Jeremy remembered everything I told him that night. When he took me out on our first official date a few weeks later he remembered that my favorite color is pink, along with other random facts that I had apparently told him that night.

In spite of the fact that I pretty much threw myself at him sexually, he was interested in me as a person, not just me as a sexual object.

The next morning we went out to breakfast at Denny’s (see how my two version’s connect back? lol) and then I drove him back to base and he asked me for my number.

I continued driving North because I was headed home to my parent’s house to pack up the rest of my furniture and move into my new apartment.

Jeremy waited an entire hour to call me lol. It reminds me of that movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”, if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen. Clearly, Jeremy was into me, and he didn’t hesitate to show me.

To be continued….

Weekly Photo Challenge: Escape (My Master’s Graduation)

Yesterday I graduated with my Master of Social Work degree from San Diego State University!

ImageTwo weeks ago I posted that my husband was not going to be able to attend my graduation because he was away at training. However, he talked to his higher ups and got permission to come back to base on a supply run just for a few days! He came home on Thursday morning, my graduation was Friday, and he just left today (Saturday). I could not have been happier to have him there to witness my official graduation!

Although he was only here for just a few days, it was amazing to have him home. Every time he comes home from being away it’s like a mini-honeymoon. He is my escape.

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TBT: Our Love Story {Part 4} 5 Year Anniversary!

Today is a special “Throwback Thursday” post because it is the 5 year anniversary of the day Jeremy and I met! What perfect timing considering I left off my story last week right before I met Jeremy for the first time.

You may have thought that the hot cowboy I was talking to was going to end up being my husband, but just like How I Met Your Mother, I like to throw in some curve balls. That was in fact, NOT my husband. He didn’t blow me off till later that night lol.

So sexy cowboy man blows me off for some slutty cowgirl (I later found out that the guys name is Henderson and he works with Jeremy and is a total player. Sounds like I dodged a bullet there!). However, my friend Vanessa is still chatting up her man (whose name is Hawkins, they later dated for a few months) and they decide they want to dance.

So once more I scope out his friends out on the dance floor and find this incredibly awkward uncoordinated white boy trying to “dance” with a girl who is quickly stepping away from him. Yes…that is my husband. No sexy tall cowboy for me, I find myself an award 19-year old Marine who couldn’t pick up a girl to save his life lol. No smooth moves from my man!

I love how in movies, whenever a couple meets there is always dramatic music and the crowds seems to part and their eyes meet and they just know that they have found their soul mate. Well, my life is not a movie apparently, because none of that happened lol.

I almost didn’t go up to him, because of the above mentioned horrible dancing skills, but also the very unattractive Ed Hardy shirt and the ridiculous amount of gel in his hair. What saved him from me not even attempting to talk to him, was when I finished my visual appraisal and saw his boot. Cowboy boots. But not just any cowboy boots; authentic, worn on the farm, worked in cowboy boots. These boots were not for show like a lot of the guys who dress up to go to a country bar, they were well worn and genuine.

I figured that any man who wears boots like that is worth talking to and getting to know, so I walked up to him and asked him to dance.

Yep, I picked up my husband at the bar, not the other way around haha.

He was of course a horrible dancer. After we finished dancing the group of us (my friend Vanessa was still all over Hawkins) went off to the side to chat and hang out. I don’t remember a single thing that I said to Jeremy, but I do remember the moment when he suddenly left and I was ditched for the second time in the same night! It’s a good thing I’m a confident woman or I would have give up at that point. But apparently whatever we had talked about was enough for me to be very interested, and I didn’t let him slip away for long.

Good thing too, considering that five years later we are happily married!

To be continued….

Wife 2 Wife Wednesday

Today’s Wife 2 Wife topic is one that I was recently thinking about because of a pervious post I read today by another blogger that I follow regarding divorce and working on a marriage rather than giving up as soon as there is a bump in the road.

A young military wife struggles with a husband who is showing signs of not being committed to their marriage. What would you say to her?

This question immediately made me think of infidelity as the end result of “not being committed to their marriage”. I think my response to infidelity is different than what my answer to this question is, because I think that before a person has cheated, there is the opportunity to strengthen the marriage and fill in the cracks that are causing that person to look outside the marriage for companionship.

My first advice is always communication. You can’t fix a marriage (or any relationship for that mater) if you don’t know what is wrong. Your spouse is the person you should be closest too, there isn’t anything that you should not be able to tell them. Even if that means telling them something that makes you uncomfortable…like your fears about them not being committed.  

After every thing has been openly talked about, I would recommend counseling. I may be biased because I am a therapist, but I think counseling can work wonders. Even if only one person goes, it can still improve the relationship. Both people going is obviously ideal with couples, so that both parties can make changes and work on fixing what was causing the relationship to be rocky in the first place. A marriage involves two people, and both people have to be willing to work on the relationship in order to have a long successful marriage.

But what if only one person is willing to work on the marriage? Or what if he actually cheats? At what point does “divorce” enter the conversation? That is a more complicated question that I think every couple has to make on their own. I do feel that many couples jump to divorce without putting in the effort first to try to fix the marriage. But I also don’t think a person should stay in an unhappy marriage for years trying to fix it while the other person isn’t putting in the same effort.

So I guess my advise would be communication and then counseling, because I do think that those two things can stabilize a marriage before it gets to the point where there is infidelity and divorce enters the conversation. 

Throwback Thursday: Our Love Story {Part 3}

 

 

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The above photo is me and Vanessa the night we went out and I met my husband: May 16, 2008. Apparently we ate at Carl’s Junior, poor college students at their finest lol

Next we headed out to the Stampede, a 18+ county western bar

Let me tell you a little about this bar. It’s located in Temecula, CA, which is about 30/40 minutes away from Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton. It’s affectionately known as “Trampede” and is normally filled with Marines. I’d feel comfortable saying that probably 80-90% of the men in the bar are Marines.

 

It’s my favorite bar because I LOVE to line-dance. I started line dancing in High School when the local country bar started an 18+ night on Thursdays. When I moved to San Diego I discovered the Stampede, and I would make my friend’s drive the hour it took to get there and go with me. None of them got into the dancing much, but they certainly enjoyed the view of sexy Marines.

Since it’s a 18+ bar it’s pretty much the only club/bar that the young Marines can go to, which means you get your mix of real county boys and posers trying to fit in. Occasionally you also get the hip-hop types who don’t even try to fit in, they just awkwardly stand out and wait for the hip-hop section of the night.

That third type, the hip-hop guys, are the ones my friend Vanessa was interested in. She has a thing for black men (although she ended up marrying the whitest man I’ve ever seen, which is pretty funny). She is also the most outgoing and least shy person I have ever met, which means that we are always meeting new people when we go out.

So we get to the bar, and she immediately focuses on the ONLY black man in the entire bar. She decides that she wants to talk to him, and as her “wing-woman” I start checking out his friends to see who I can strike up a conversation with.

The first guy I see is this tall, sexy cowboy. Wranglers, button up with pearl snaps, Skoal ring and a cowboy hat. Now that is my kind of man. He was also clearly a Marine (you spend enough time in Southern California and you learn how to pick them out lol).

As I mentioned last week, I had just broken up with a Marine, which meant that I was not very interested in finding a new one. In fact, my friend Vanessa had also recently ended things with her on-again/off-again Marine boyfriend and we had sworn off Marines during our earlier dinner at Carl’s Junior.

But when a man is that sexy, you bend your rules a little bit 😉

So I walked up to talk to him, we chatted for a few minutes, and he blew me off to chase a slutty looking cowgirl about 5 minutes later.

To be continued….

Endings

So many things in my life have come to an end recently and I’m not handling it very well.

Yesterday was my last day of classes, which means after I turn in my last paper on Friday I will be done with graduate school. I thought I would be excited or relieved, but I’m actually kind of scared. I’ve been a student for my entire life, straight from High School to College to Graduate School. Being a student has been a part of my identity since I was 4 years old. It’s strange to think of myself as anything else. It’s scary to think of myself as a real adult.

As much as I am looking forward to not having to write any more papers or take any more exams, I am sad to leave my friends. I will no longer get to have lunch with them between class or whisper to each other during lectures. There are a few that I have gotten close to that I think I will continue to spend time with, but a lot of the people that I have gotten to know during my grad program are more of aquaintances that I will probably lose touch with.

Last Thursday was my last day at my internship. Not only was it emotional to terminate with my long-term clients, but it was hard to say goodbye to my co-workers. This is the first job that I’ve ever had where I not only liked what I was doing, but I liked the people I worked with. I got cards from all my co-workers and one from a client as well; it was so hard to leave knowing how much they appreciate me and that I am making a positive impact on my client’s lives.

Then to top it all off on Friday my husband’s Commanding Officer took all his Family Readiness Volunteers out to a going away breakfast because he is leaving. I’ve been volunteering with the command since we got here 1 1/2 years ago and I’ve gotten close with all the ladies that I work with and the CO. Out of the 6 of us, half are leaving within the next month, not including the CO. He gave us all engraved EGA necklaces and I actually teared up!

I think the reason why I am feeling so down about all these endings is because I don’t have any new beginnings.

We are PCSing in 7 months, but that is still too far away from me to anticipate right now.

I thought I would have a job to look forward to, but I have yet to be asked to interview for any positions. I’ve been applying and going to job fairs, but I’ve learned that most of the jobs that I’ve been applying to are all hiring internally. On top of that, I’ve had to start limiting my search to temporary positions because we are moving soon, which means I’m applying for jobs that I am way over qualified for. It’s depressing to think that after 6 years of college I will be someone’s secretary again. I know it’s only temporary until we move, but it’s still not the transition I had hoped to have after graduation.

I love my career and there are so many jobs out there that I would love to do. It’s depressing to not be able to get a job in my field and start my career that I’ve been working so hard towards. It’s almost embarrassing to go back to an entry level position, even if it is only temporary.

This is a time in my life that I should be excited about. I’m graduating with my MASTERS! Maybe I just need to remind myself of that, remind myself of my accomplishments and know that I have my whole life ahead of me to find the perfect job.

My graduation is next Friday, I will try to cheer myself up before then 🙂

 

Acts of Love

My husband is not a very romantic man.

Some girls have husband’s who wax poetic and words of affection to them. The most I normally get is “I love you and I miss you”

Some girls have husband’s who surprise them with sunset horse back riding and sprinkle rose petals around the bathtub for a relaxing evening. I get the same presents (flowers and chocolate) for every significant holidays (anniversary, Valentine’s Day, etc.) because I’ve told my husband what I like lol

If I haven’t mentioned it before, my husband is very much a M-A-N.  The typical redneck: don’t talk about your feelings, provide for your family, hunt your own food, etc.

But there has never been a moment when I have doubted his love for me. I know with my entire being that I am the most important person to him. I know this because his every action, not just the big romantic gestures, are inspired by his love.

Yesterday was my last day of school, and Jeremy is off in the desert doing training. We’ve been texting, but the service is horrible and it takes hours to send a single text message.

So yesterday night, after he got done working a 12 hour shift, he hiked 2 miles in the cold desert to get service on the top of a hill so he could call me. Just so he could talk to me about my last day of school ❤

I think what made that conversation so special to me, besides being able to talk to him for the first time in days, was because he didn’t do it for the purpose of it being a romantic gesture. It wasn’t meant to be a special gesture, it’s just the way he is.

And that means more to me than all the flowers in the world. To have a man who acts out of love in his every action.

I’m not saying that romantic gestures aren’t wonderful, or that men who make them are being fake. If my husband was the romantic type I would bask in it!

But I know who he is and how he shows his affection, and I chose to cherish the way he loves me, and not be disappointed about the way he does’t (aka being romantic).

“A man truly loves you when missing you is his hobby,

caring for you is his job, making you happy is his duty,

and loving you is his life