TBT: Afghanistan Deployment

Jeremy left for his first deployment to Afghanistan on November 3, 2010.

76606_453861516818_6808194_nHe had to report to Camp Pendleton around 2 am to get his weapon and load up on the busses so they could drive to March AFB and fly out.

We decided not to sleep that night, instead we stayed up cuddling on the couch watching movies and enjoying our last few hours together.

I was surprisingly unemotional the entire day. He loaded up his bags and we drove his truck to base. He checked out his weapon. We waited around for a few hours (because it’s the military and there is always waiting lol).

He left with a fairly small group of Marine, probably 25-30. The rest of the unit had left a few days prior and his detachment would meet up with them in Afghanistan.

A few other wives were there, only about 4-5. Most were crying. A few left before the busses came, probably to get home and get their kids to bed.

One other wife stayed until the busses left. I didn’t know her at the time, but we ended up being good friends when her husband and Jeremy became friends during deployment.

I didn’t cry when he got on that white bus. I didn’t cry when it drove away. I didn’t cry when I drove home.

But when I got home and saw the gifts that Jeremy had left me; a teddy bear with a voice box in each hand that he had recorded with his voice, flowers, and my favorite chocolate; I cried.

“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”

And when I woke up in the morning; alone. One day down out of 7 months; the end seeming so very far away…I cried again, for the last time of that deployment.

I missed my husband, of course. But I felt that the best thing I could do for him during this deployment was to be strong. Be strong for him so all he needed to worry about what his job. He didn’t need to worry about me, about if I was sad or depressed. He had a job to do, and my job was to help him do that job to the best of his ability.

To be continued….

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Marriage is Just the Beginning

Now that I’m in my mid-20’s, and most of my friends are the same age or a few years older, I’ve noticed that some of my single friends seem jealous that I am married.

This is a huge turn around from the first 5 years of my marriage, where all my single friends thought I was crazy and giving up my life to get married so young.

I attribute the shift in attitude to the societal pressure to settle down and get married that most women feel once they hit around 25/26. At that point, they are done with college and likely a few years into their career, which means that the priority should now shift to relationships; finding the right man, settling down and getting ready to have a few kids once they hit 30.

I’ve find that I feel very odd about the jealousy; because they are jealous of my marital status, not my marriage.

As my friends, they of course care that I am happily married, but the jealousy isn’t about my happiness with my husband, it’s about the fact that I have a husband.

They think that I have “won”; I’ve crossed the finish line of life…I am married.

I wish that I could make them see that marriage isn’t the finish line; it’s the start of a whole other race.

Getting married isn’t the destination; it’s just the start of a new adventure.

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My Adventure

“I’m leaving on a jet plane….”

Well, not quite yet; but in September.

I’ve bought my tickets and I will be traveling across the country (literally) to Boston/Connecticut/New York! I’ve never been the East Coast before, the further east I’ve been is Florida.

I had a moment a few months ago, where I realized that my marriage was holding me back from life. Specifically, from traveling and exploring on my own terms.

I remember in college (either right before or right after I got married) my BFF took a spontaneous trip to Ireland over Spring Break and tried very hard to convince me to go with her. I decided not to, not wanting to spend money or be apart from Jeremy.

Now, I wish so badly that I had gone.

I wish that I had studied abroad in college, taken an internship in another state or country, volunteered for Habitat for Humanity; done something other than work, got to class and stay home with Jeremy.

Yes, I was being responsible with my money and working instead of spending it on traveling. But I also let my new marriage hold me back from taking my own adventures; from exploring the world outside of my little family.

I love my husband, and I love being married. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t have my own life; my own adventures.

I don’t regret my choices in the past, because they led me to where I am now, and I am so incredibly happy. But I CAN learn from my past and make changes.

So I’m taking advantage of having a four day weekend for Rash Hashanah, and I’m going to a city I’ve always wanted to visit. I’m meeting up with my BFF from Grad School (who moved back home to CT) and my military spouse BFF who will conveniently visiting her family in NY while I am in town.

I’m taking this trip for me; without my husband.

Jeremy has little interest in NY or any big city, whereas I love touristy and historical stuff.

I LOVE traveling with Jeremy. We’ve made some great memories in our cross country trips together on the military’s time.

But I have interest that Jeremy doesn’t share; and there is nothing wrong with that.

So here is too a my great adventure. See you in September, East Coast!