My Kind of Romance

I’ve written before about my “boring” husband.

Most would say that he isn’t romantic at all. He doesn’t buy me flowers or surprise me. Nearly every date is planned by me. All of my jewelry from “him” for our anniversaries and birthdays has been picked out by me.

But this weekend, I was reminded again of how simple, yet profound his “romance” is.

We spent the weekend moving to our new apartment (which is HUGE and very luxurious). On Friday, Jeremy got off work, and although I still had to go into work later in the day, I took him to pick up the U-Haul at 7am and load up some of the big furniture before I had to leave. He then spent the rest of the day loading and unloading (up to the second floor) our ENTIRE house all by HIMSELF.

In addition, he took care of canceling our utilities, transferred the ones that could be transferred, and making sure he was at the house when the TV/internet people came by. He took care of all the address changes, disposed of all of the boxes, arranged all the furniture the way I wanted it, hung up all of my decor (even though he always grumps about putting holes in the wall lol) and picked up the new furniture that I bought.

He did all of that with a smile on his face and not a single complaint.

It’s not a romantic dinner or a new piece of jewelry. It’s being a good man. Being a good husband. Doing the basic everyday boring things to take care of your wife and your family.

That’s my kind of romance

ImageGood-bye old tiny apartment!

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TBT: Engagement Photos…1 year after marriage!

One of the results of a quick courthouse wedding is that Jeremy and I didn’t go through the typical “engagement timeline” that most couples go through during a year (+) long engagement.

One of the main events in that timeline is the engagement photos.

So, when a fellow Marine wife was offering free photo-shoots to expand her portfolio, I jumped on the opportunity to have some professional photos taken. Our first professional photo-shoot ever….a year and nine months after our wedding!

Turns out, those photos came in very handy when we started planning our vow-renewal, I used them for the invitations!

These are some of my favorites:

Location: Oceanside Pier

Photographer: Alicia Roberts Photography

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My absolute favorite!

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My family’s favorite, I think they like the natural smiles. I’m not a huge fan of my hair, but I think Jeremy looks so sexy and happy!

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One of the photos I used for our Vow Renewal invitations

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The second photo I used for our invitations

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Did I mention that my husband HATES getting is picture taken?! If you can’t tell from these photos, then that means I did a good job making him laugh and smile…he was super grumpy lol.

Next month we are doing another photos shoot, for our 5 year wedding anniversary. He is not happy haha

Being an Adult

A few months ago Jeremy and I had a BIG issue in our relationship. The kind of issue that spawned a 3 day ‘crying, not talking, wondering about the future’ kind of drama. I won’t go into the details because we have since resolved the issue, and that isn’t the point of my post!

My point is, that during those 3 miserable days where all I wanted to do was drive home and go see my Mom and have a good cry, I instead got up, went to work and put on my “adult” face.

The face of having to take care of my responsibilities, when I would rather do anything but.

I call it my “adult” face because I have come to realize that my definition of being an adult isn’t being married, being financially independent or having children. It’s doing what you need to do, even when you don’t want to.

It’s crying in your office for 10 minutes with the door closed, then wiping away your tears and going to your 9am meeting. It’s seeing clients and being present in their processing, when all I really want to do is be the client instead of the therapist. It’s putting a smile on your face when you pick your kids up at school and keeping it on until they go to bed so that their childhood and innocence remains untarnished.

If I had to define being adult, that would be it.

TBT: Our 1-Year Wedding Anniversary

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Jeremy came home in February 2010, after being in Florida for 5 months for school. He arrived just in time to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary, on February 14, 2010

Getting married on Valentines Day has seemed like a romantic and fun idea at the time. Plus, I knew Jeremy would never forget the date!

But as we approached our anniversary it quickly became obvious that I probably should have thought it through a little bit more.

Everything books up way in advance. Everything is 10x more expensive. And everything is 100x busier. We tried to go out to eat, get a reservation, book a trip…and it was all booked up, super busy or crazy expensive.

So we decided to do something low-key, a picnic at Mt. Soledad, one of my favorite view points in San Diego.

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It was still very busy, but there was enough grass for everyone there, including a very awkward couple who looked to be on their second or third date lol

We have since made Mt. Soledad a tradition for our anniversary, instead of trying to deal with all the couples out celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s become “our place”.

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When the Rubber Meets the Road

Over Christmas Jeremy and I drove up to Nor-Cal to visit my family. On our way back, we were driving down the I-5 and Jeremy suddenly pulled over. He had noticed a mini-van that was stuck in the dirt on the side of the highway.

In the mini-van was a group of Asian college-aged kids, on their way to Vegas from San Francisco. They barely spoke English, but Jeremy was able to communicate with them enough to instruct them to help him hook up his jeep and pull them out of the pot-hole using a dog leash.

They were SO grateful for the help. The offered to pay Jeremy and followed him around like puppies, verbosely thanking him for stopping and assisting them.

I bring up this story, because later that week, after I got back to work, the topic of dating came up at the lunch table.  A few of my work fiends are single, and those that are use online dating. They were discussing the criteria they have for those that they even consider talking to; must be a democrat, no military, pro-gay marriage ,etc. (clearly I work in a very liberal field lol). They continued to discuss how people that aren’t “liberal” are bad people (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea). Can you really be a kind/good person if you don’t support gay marriage?

Their conversation made me thing of Jeremy. He isn’t the most liberal guy, although for being in the military he is more middle of the road than most. He doesn’t partially enjoy being around gay people, it makes him uncomfortable.

But Jeremy is the most kind and honorable man that I have ever met. Regardless of his political beliefs, he treats everyone as an equal, without bias or discrimination.

If that mini-van had been full of gay transvestites, he still would have pulled them out.

Actions speak louder than words, and Jeremy’s action are that of a GOOD man. Going out of his way to help his fellow man. Stopping to help people injured in a car accident. 

When the rubber meets the road, he is kind, honorable, loyal and respectful.

To me, that is so much more important than the answer to some questions on an online survey.

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Why My Blog Isn’t Going “Viral”

Last week a post went viral on my Facebook, maybe some of you have seen it as well: 23 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF GETTING ENGAGED BEFORE YOU’RE 23

At the same time, a girl who is part of a small (2k followers) Marine/Military S/O group wrote a blog in response to the article and posted it in the group (and likely on her personal page as well). Within the day I was seeing her blog reposed by many of my friends who are also part of the group. Within a few days it was being reposted by my friends who have absolutely no connection to the group. And by the end of the week, her blog had been cited by other sources and had hundreds of comments.

The girl who wrote the response had never had a blog before. It was her first blog post on her first blog. And it went VIRAL.

At first, I found myself a little jealous. I think I have written a lot of great posts on my blog, and I get excited when I get an actual comment from someone, much less over 700. I thought about how I could go about getting one of my posts to go viral, what it would take.

But then I started reading a lot of the comments, and probably half of them were negative; putting the author down, critiquing her post, judging her religion, judging her life.

And I suppose that is what happens when you gain internet popularity. When you put your life and your opinion out there and millions of people see it and feel they have the right to judge you and give their opinion.

So maybe I will stick to my 174 followers and my loyal (and kind) 10 commenters.

I don’t think my skin is thick enough for the negative judgement. I don’t think it’s worth the trade of popularity.

TBT: Visiting Jeremy in Florida

When my first semester of Junior year ended, I hopped on the first plane to Florida to visit Jeremy after being apart for three months! It was amazing to be back in his arms!

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The Marine Corps had set him up with a hotel on base and he had driven his car out to Florida from San Diego, which made my stay there very easy. Free room and free car! Since Jeremy was still in school I was left up to my own devices during the day. I explored Pensacola, Florida…for those of you that have been there, you know there isn’t a whole lot to explore lol. I walked around base, went to the beach (it was FREEZING in December!), went shopping, went to the movies and passed time in the hotel room on my laptop.

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I discovered Waffle House (super cheap, but the quality was so/so) and Whataburger (didn’t rock my world).

Jeremy took me to the local restaurant/bar, McGuires. I turned 21 a few days before going out to visit him, so we celebrated by getting me an Irish Wake, their famous drink. It was green and tasted NASTY. My solution was to chug the entire thing (I paid $10 for it, I wasn’t going to waste it), and I got very tipsy and insulted a few of his friends (oops!).

18849_214375731818_7296523_nJeremy got some time off for Christmas and New Years, so we decided to make a road trip up to Wisconsin to see his family. It was my first White Christmas! Beautiful, but SO COLD!

The highlight of our road trip was Nashville, TN. We went to see the Country Music Hall of Fame (we are both big country music fans). We wanted to stop at the Jack Daniels distillery, but they were closed for New Years, when were passing by.

Although not exactly on the way, we decided to stop in New Orleans for New Years (we spent the whole day driving from TN to LA and got to Bourbon Street around 11pm, just in time to get a Hurricane and ring in the new year!). We then drove the rest of the way back to FL because all the hotels were booked up! Oh to be young and wild 😉

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Jeremy and I took a few weekend trips while we were in the South; there are so many states so close together! We did a swamp tour in LA, which was SOOOOOO cold, and we didn’t even see any alligators. But it was fun, I ate some fried alligator…Jeremy had a burger lol.

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After a lovely five week mini vacation in the South, I unfortunately had to head back to California. Thankfully, Jeremy had less than a month of school left, so we were on the home stretch!

I loved the South! I would definitely go back on a trip, there was so much more that I would love to do, and it would be nice to not be there in the winter!