“It’s MY wedding day, I’ll do what I want”

Are weddings for the bride and groom…or for the family?

It seems like every time I see somebody on Facebook posting about wedding planning drama, it normally included either the original poster, or another person on the tread, stating “the wedding is about the bride and groom, do what YOU want and forget everyone else’s opinions”.

Whenever I see this, I can’t help but think about how selfish that sounds.

Considering how many people say it, I have a feeling that I am in the minority…but I’ll share my thoughts on it anyway.

First off, I am very much a “people pleaser” so the idea of me asking everyone to eat raw vegan food at my wedding because that is what I like, actually causes me some anxiety. The bride and the groom are just two people, therefore my natural inclination is to cater to the majority and try to make the most people happy….even if it is “my day”. (I would of course advocate staying within your comfort zone. If you and your future spouse completely abstain from alcohol, then have a dry wedding).

Expanding on the whole idea that the bride and groom are just two people in the world of weddings, lets talk about the family.

Yes, this is “your day”. The day you become man and wife.

But it’s also the day that two families are coming together. The day that your parents have been looking forward too for long before you were planning your pretend wedding at 12 years old.

Along with being a people pleaser, I am also very family oriented. I am close with my parents and my siblings, their opinions are important to me. I had all of my siblings and my husband’s siblings in our bridal party (there were so many that we only had one person who wasn’t family) and my step-father officiated the ceremony.

For me, the day would not be as special without their attendance, and more importantly, their excitement/happiness.

What do you think? Should you do what you want on your wedding day and forget everyone else’s opinions? Or should you take into considerations the views of your family and friends?

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Being Each Others First Time

I saw a discussion on a Military Wives Facebook page asking how you would feel if your daughter lost her virginity at the same age you did.

What I found interesting about the answers, it the a lot of the women said that they had wish they waited until their husband; that they were disappointed and regretted being with other men. The ones who had waited were being congratulated for holding out until they were married or dating their now husband.

Personally, I’ve never really had a lot of feelings around the subject. I didn’t care or expect Jeremy to be a virgin when we met at 19, and it never crossed my mind that he would want me to be a virgin or be disappointed that I wasn’t.

I’ve never felt that it has taken away from our relationship. I am not jealous or bothered by the knowledge that he has been with other women, and from what I can tell, he isn’t bother either.

I guess I am just posting this because it was kind of a revolutionary idea to me, that people would regret or have negative feelings about not waiting till they found their “soul mate”. What if you end up divorced? Do people regret having a sexual relationship with their first husband if they go on to meet their next partner? And for the ones who are glad they waited till they were dating their now spouse, what if they had broken up? Would they then regret that experience?

What do you all think? Do you regret losing your virginity when you did? Are you disappointed that you didn’t wait?