“It’s MY wedding day, I’ll do what I want”

Are weddings for the bride and groom…or for the family?

It seems like every time I see somebody on Facebook posting about wedding planning drama, it normally included either the original poster, or another person on the tread, stating “the wedding is about the bride and groom, do what YOU want and forget everyone else’s opinions”.

Whenever I see this, I can’t help but think about how selfish that sounds.

Considering how many people say it, I have a feeling that I am in the minority…but I’ll share my thoughts on it anyway.

First off, I am very much a “people pleaser” so the idea of me asking everyone to eat raw vegan food at my wedding because that is what I like, actually causes me some anxiety. The bride and the groom are just two people, therefore my natural inclination is to cater to the majority and try to make the most people happy….even if it is “my day”. (I would of course advocate staying within your comfort zone. If you and your future spouse completely abstain from alcohol, then have a dry wedding).

Expanding on the whole idea that the bride and groom are just two people in the world of weddings, lets talk about the family.

Yes, this is “your day”. The day you become man and wife.

But it’s also the day that two families are coming together. The day that your parents have been looking forward too for long before you were planning your pretend wedding at 12 years old.

Along with being a people pleaser, I am also very family oriented. I am close with my parents and my siblings, their opinions are important to me. I had all of my siblings and my husband’s siblings in our bridal party (there were so many that we only had one person who wasn’t family) and my step-father officiated the ceremony.

For me, the day would not be as special without their attendance, and more importantly, their excitement/happiness.

What do you think? Should you do what you want on your wedding day and forget everyone else’s opinions? Or should you take into considerations the views of your family and friends?

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Are Break-Ups Bad?

I’ve been seeing a lot of break ups recently.

Two girls at my work were broken up with by their boyfriends and a girl who helps run the military support page that I am part of on Facebook was broken up with by her Marine.

I noticed something in common about everyones responses to the news of the break up; everyone saw it as a bad thing and many people said something along the line of “I hope you work it out and get back together”

Am I the only one who disagrees with both these statements?

I don’t think break ups are necessarily a bad thing. Are they painful? Heck yes. I cried for weeks when my first boyfriend broke up with me.

But does being painful make it a bad thing altogether? I don’t think so.

I think break ups are actually a blessing in disguise. They are freedom from someone who didn’t value you they way they should; from someone who didn’t love you the way you should be loved by a partner. They are freedom to find someone else; someone who will appreciate you for who you are and count themselves blessed to be your partner.

I’ve also never understood the break up and get back together cycle that some couples go through. The reason being, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? That person looked at you and all you had to offer, and they decided “I don’t want that”. They took a long hard look at you and the relationship and said “nope”. Why would I want that person back?

I deserved to be loved. I deserve to be appreciated. I deserve to be with someone who knows what they have when they have me.

If the person I am with does not value me the way I deserve, then they are doing me a favor by ending things.

What do you think? Have you even broken up and got back together? Are there certain situations where it is beneficial? A