It’s Okay to Be Okay

My husband recently returned from a 6 week training out of state.

It was a wonderful 6 weeks for me…and I find myself feeling a little guilty about that.

I got to watch all of my TV shows instead of waiting until the weekend when Jeremy goes golfing or is otherwise out of the house. I didn’t have to cook dinner…for an entire 6 weeks; I lived off cereal and caprese sandwiches. I spent my weekends living my own schedule, spending time with my friends when I wanted, shopping by myself, hiking, or just reading. I wasn’t accountable to anyone but my dog, and it was glorious.

I remember a time, a few months after Jeremy and I got married, when Jeremy first left for a training. He was gone for 2 months, and it was longest and most miserable 2 months of my life. I was depressed and hopeless. I actually sought out a therapist because I could not handle my life without Jeremy by my side.

Since that first time apart, Jeremy and I have been married for 6 years and experienced 2 deployments and many other trainings.

Not only have I gotten used to being alone, and learned how to thrive, I’ve grown more confident in who I am…apart from being “Jeremy’s wife”.

I love my husband, and I don’t want to live a life without him. But our happiness is no longer dependent on each other. When we were first married, I was dependent on him. And perhaps if he wasn’t in the military, we would have stayed that way. But going through those deployments and trainings forced us to move beyond that stage. Forced me to be more confident and comfortable being alone.

So here I am, 7 years into a military relationship, enjoying 6 weeks of solitude. I feel like society thinks that I “should” be miserable with Jeremy gone..but I’m not. And maybe that is okay. Maybe it’s Okay to Be Okay.