It’s okay to vacation without your spouse?

I’ve previously mentioned my planned solo trip to NY in September, and my feelings about traveling without my husband.

I also recently started talking with my good friend about making a trip together out of the county, either Europe or Greece.

The same day that we were researching vacation deals, a girl I know posted on FB about being upset that her husband wanted to go on a vacation to Mexico that his buddies invited him on (a dudes only trip). She asked for others opinions; if she has the right to be upset or not.

I was VERY surprised by the comments:

Honestly, he shouldn’t want to go anywhere and have fun without you there.

when you’re single is when you do solo vaca!! married it’s time to do it together

were married I would not want to go experience a beautiful place without him there to share it with. I’d hope he’d feel the same. We got married to share our lives together, it wouldn’t feel right otherwise.

It honestly never occurred to me to NOT go on vacation with my girlfriends and to enjoy that vacation.

Just because I’m married doesn’t mean that everything in my life has to include my husband. That I can’t enjoy anything without him by my side.

Aside from the fact that I think it’s kind of unhealthy to do absolutely everything with your spouse, my husband and I have different interests.

He has 0 interest in going to Europe or Greece. Neither is his idea of a fun vacation.

So my options are to a) deny myself a vacation/experience that I want b) make him go with me and have him be miserable and therefore suck all the of the fun out of the trip or c) go on the vacation/do the activity with someone else

I pick C, every time.

Sometimes I feel like people become so enmeshed in their relationships that they forget that they are their own person too.

I once had a girl tell me that she denied herself drinking Dr. Pepper (which she loves) while her husband was deployed because she didn’t want to enjoy it without him, since it was something he liked too.

That just sounds depressing to me.

I would never want my husband to purposely make himself unhappy; to deny himself something that he enjoys.

Why would I think he would want that for me?

I am my own person. He is his own person. Somethings we enjoy doing together, and I love to have him by my side. Sometimes we do things separately, either because one of us doesn’t want to do the activity, or because one of us has to miss it for other reasons (work, deployment, etc.) In either case, we are happy that the other person is getting to enjoy that experience, regardless of if we are there or not.

It makes me happy when Jeremy is happy, whether I am with him during that happiness or not.

What do you think? Would you take a vacation without your spouse? Would you be upset if he wanted to go on a trip without you?

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “It’s okay to vacation without your spouse?

  1. I absolutely think it’s okay to vacation without your spouse. Living in Alaska, airfare doesn’t make it very feasible for us to travel at all ($1500+ for somewhere like Mexico, anywhere over the ocean doubles, etc)…but when it comes to visiting family, we both prefer to see our own families, and sometimes would rather not spend the airfare for the other person to have to come too. So we go alone and on a “vacation of sorts” with old friends and our own families and the other person stays behind and does their own thing. It hasn’t been a big deal to us! I have multiple trips with girlfriends planned in the future as well, as does he with his brother/dad. I completely agree that we’re our own people and can choose to vacation apart πŸ™‚

  2. I agree with you. It’s okay to do some things solo or just with your friends, especially something like a girls or guys trip or, like you mentioned, when one person has an interest in something and the other doesn’t. Some people choose to do things together all the time, and that’s fine for them. Some people choose to do things separate, and that’s okay, too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s