What I dislike most about military life: Uncertainty

You know what I dislike most about military life? It’s not the deployments. I can deal with time apart. It’s not the moving, I am used to living away from family.

What I dislike most is the uncertainty. The “maybe”

The, “you are deploying in December”, and then two months later, after you have prepared for the deployment, possibly held off applying for schools, put off moving to an new place because you are going to go home for the deployment, pushed back your wedding or moved up your wedding…they say “oh wait, your not deploying in December, its July now”.

Are you freakin’ kidding me!

You think I would have learned by now, since almost that exact situation happened to us a few years ago. Jeremy was supposed to deploy the summer after we got married, so we pushed back our big wedding to the following summer. Then they said he wasn’t going, so we moved it back. Then they decided he was going in November, so we again had to move it.

Yet another reason why so many military couples get married in the courthouse, it’s nearly impossible to plan a wedding around the military.

So why am I so upset/annoyed/anxious about this recent “you are moving/your not moving”? I should know how the military is by now.

I don’t mind moving as long as I can plan for it. If the Marine Corps wants to send us to Japan I would make it work. But when they mess with my planning time is when I start to come unraveled.

Jeremy was supposed to start recruiting and we were planning on moving in December. We’ve known about this since around April. So when I graduated in May I didn’t look for permanent jobs here, I just looked for temp work. I stumbled upon an amazing job in my field that I love, and they knew up front that I was a temp hire.

Then the government shut down happened, and it looked like Jeremy would not be going to school anymore since the people in change of booking up the class got furloughed and didn’t notify people about who got a seat in the class and who didn’t (Jeremy, it turns out, did not). So I told my boss that I was likely going to stay. She was so excited, as was I, and she stopped interviewing people and told her supervisors that I was staying.

Jeremy still had to show up for class anyway, some silly thing about having orders but not having a seat in the class, and last week it started to look he was going to get a spot in the class because so many people were getting dropped for not qualifying (too many kids, too many tattoos, out of shape, etc.).  I felt guilty holding that information from my boss because I didn’t want to screw her over and not give her enough time to hire my replacement, so I told her it was looking like I was leaving again. I asked her to give me two weeks, and if he was still in school then she should go ahead and start the process of hiring someone else.

THEN Jeremy hurt his leg really bad on Thursday during the PFT, and he was told he was dropped. I excitedly told my boss that I was for sure staying and she was again super excited.

Fast forward to last night, and apparently the orders for Jeremy to get dropped made it up the ranks and the final guy decided that he wasn’t hurt enough. Apparently being on crutches and popping Vicodin isn’t hurt enough and he still has to go to class next week and more doctors appointments to figure out exactly what is wrong with his leg and if it’s a long-term injury.

I’ve decided not to tell my boss this last part, to keep mum until next Friday. If Jeremy is still in school then, I will tell her to replace me.

Everyone I’ve talked to has told me that I just shouldn’t have said anything after I told my boss that I would be staying (the first time). But I want to be honest. I feel like they deserve to know what is going on. I would feel guilty if I didn’t tell them.

At this point, my boss probably thinks the military is crazy. She will never hire another military spouse after all of my drama. I’m happy she is sticking with me and not just giving up after so much back and forth, after all the uncertainty.

There is that word again. Uncertainty. 

I hate it!

It messed with my personal life, and now it’s messing with my career.

I see now why so many spouses are stay at home wives/moms; trying to work a career around the military is so frustrating.

I was ready to move, I was going to make it work. I have applied to get my intern number in CA and WI so that I can collect hours towards my license in both states (that took a lot of prep work). I found an awesome temp job where I could get some good experience and not screw them over by lying about how long I could work for.

I did everything right, but the military bulldozes over all of it.

Sometimes I just need to vent it out. Feel free to join me.

What has the military screwed up for you? Did you buy a house and then orders got changed and you had to move? Buy a plane ticket for homecoming and then have it be pushed back and not be able to get your money back?


2 thoughts on “What I dislike most about military life: Uncertainty

  1. The uncertainty is rough. I first dealt with it back when B and I were still dating long distance. He was never sure he’d get the leave to come see me or not. One week that I was flying up to see him, he wasn’t going to take leave because he only had to work two of the days I was there. Until they changed his schedule while I was flying up there and he had to go in every day.

    Since then it’s mostly been trying to get a job wherever he’s assigned that’s been tough for me. I have two degrees in the Fine Arts and my work thrives best in a big city. Being overseas, I’ve had luck teaching military kids piano lessons, but haven’t been able to have the volume of students that I normally would nor charge what I would in a bigger area. Now that we’re faced with returning to the US, to a pretty small area that seems to be flooded with piano teachers, I’m not sure what I’m going to do and I don’t like the uncertainty in that either.

    Good luck with his class and your job.

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