I am sitting at home alone as I write this. My husband just got called into work for what feels like the 100th time this month.
When we first got together it used to upset me that the military controlled his life; that he was at their beck and call. My needs seemed so unimportant as he would cancel on our plans and rush off to do his duty.
I don’t remember when it happened exactly, but sometime during our marriage I decided that going forward I would never get upset when Jeremy had to leave. Deployment, duty night, training, whatever it was, I wasn’t going to be annoyed at him or the situation.
Because it’s not his fault that he has to go into work on our date night because some other guy got a DUI and couldn’t show up for his duty. It’s not his fault that his command is understaffed for his position and he has to drive 2 hours out to the desert after a full days work only to come home at 5 am and get up at 7am to go back to his regular job.
There are so many people and things in his life that make demands of him. Demands of his time, demands of his attention, demands of his energy. I don’t want him to think of his wife or his home as another demand. I want it to be a safe place. A place where he is welcomed. A place where he can relax.
And you know what is actually so wonderful about all these late nights and time spent apart? Jeremy makes even more of an effort to show me that he appreciates me. Two weeks ago he actually asked me out on a date. That hasn’t happened in years! Last week he took me to FroYo because I made a comment about how it sounded delicious on a Friday night.
The less demands I make of him, the more understanding and supportive I am, he in turn is more romantic and loving towards me.