Let the Wife Make the Husband Glad to Come Home

I am sitting at home alone as I write this. My husband just got called into work for what feels like the 100th time this month.

When we first got together it used to upset me that the military controlled his life; that he was at their beck and call. My needs seemed so unimportant as he would cancel on our plans and rush off to do his duty.

I don’t remember when it happened exactly, but sometime during our marriage I decided that going forward I would never get upset when Jeremy had to leave. Deployment, duty night, training, whatever it was, I wasn’t going to be annoyed at him or the situation.

Because it’s not his fault that he has to go into work on our date night because some other guy got a DUI and couldn’t show up for his duty. It’s not his fault that his command is understaffed for his position and he has to drive 2 hours out to the desert after a full days work only to come home at 5 am and get up at 7am to go back to his regular job.

There are so many people and things in his life that make demands of him. Demands of his time, demands of his attention, demands of his energy. I don’t want him to think of his wife or his home as another demand. I want it to be a safe place. A place where he is welcomed. A place where he can relax.

And you know what is actually so wonderful about all these late nights and time spent apart? Jeremy makes even more of an effort to show me that he appreciates me. Two weeks ago he actually asked me out on a date. That hasn’t happened in years! Last week he took me to FroYo because I made a comment about how it sounded delicious on a Friday night.

The less demands I make of him, the more understanding and supportive I am, he in turn is more romantic and loving towards me.


4 thoughts on “Let the Wife Make the Husband Glad to Come Home

  1. I totally know where you are coming from! I am not a wife yet, but as a Navy girlfriend I know how important it is to make your man feel like he can seek comfort and refuge in you. He shouldn’t feel stressed or added on pressure from the relationship. Thanks for the reminder! πŸ™‚

  2. Whilst I can understand what you’re saying, I have a cautionary tale. I did this for my husband, I made sure home was relaxing, that I was undemanding, that it was his sanctuary. And the result? My needs were denied, overlooked, obliterated. It became all about him. If it wasn’t, then I was being selfish! And now we’re in a right mess [sigh]. So I would say, just make sure he continues to appreciate you and doesn’t begin to take you for granted.

    • I completely agree! I believe there is a fine line between being undemanding and repressing your own needs. And that is why there is that second part to the quote, “let the husband make her sorry to see him leave”. Both husband and wife have to put in the effort, not just the wife always trying to make the husband happy and him ignoring her needs.

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