The Evolution of Relationships

Last night my husband and I got into a “fight”. I put it in quotes because we don’t ever actually fight, at least not what normal people consider fights. What we have are more like discussion. Neither of us is hot-tempered and we have never yelled, cursed or insulted each other.

But we did have a disagreement last night, which continued into the morning via text message.  Most of what the issue was related to communication, we weren’t understanding what the other person was trying to say (the whole men are from Mars, women are from Venus thing)

We were still in the midst of our text message “fight” when I went to lunch. I was talking to one of my co-workers over lunch about how men don’t make any sense and don’t seem to be able to communicate effectively.

She is dating a guy who turns out to be very similar to Jeremy (very much a manly MAN), and completely agreed with me. We spent pretty much the entire lunch hour venting about how men are so confusing and how we don’t think we are asking for much in relationships, but they don’t seem to get what women want. We feel like we are communicating clearly, but it doesn’t seem to get across to men.

She told me a few stories about her and he boyfriend and what things he did to cause disagreements in their relationships.

A lot of the things she talked about were things that I had experienced with Jeremy as well, but they didn’t bother me much anymore.

I realized then that I actually do understand men, or at least my man. Things that used to bother me about Jeremy (his grumpy moods after work and lack of physical affection) are things that I have come to understand. I know why he does the things that he does, and it doesn’t bother my anymore because I have accepted him the way he is.

Our relationship isn’t perfect (clearly, we just had a fight! lol), but it has come a long way since we first started dating over 5 years ago. We have learned each others quirks and personalities, and we have tried to accept them and not make them an area of conflict in our relationship.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like our relationship has grown, especially when we are disagreeing about something. It can feel like we will never completely understand each other and will always have conflicts. But if I could go back in time and compare our relationship now to what it was when we first started dating, I think I would be surprised at how much has changed.

Because we are both always changing. Individually and as a couple. In another 5 years we will probably be fighting about something else, probably relating to babies. And in 10 years there will be something else. Because life goes on. And our marriage goes on with it. I just hope it keeps getting better and doesn’t start going downhill!

^^^ This right here says it perfectly! lol ^^^


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