I recently started following this girl on Instagram: cheyennesimonds

She and her husband are both Marines stationed in Southern California and she posts the most adorable photos all the time of the two of them doing outdoorsy things like hiking and kayaking.

They look like they are having so much fun and are so happy.

Seeing that made me compare my relationship/pictures to hers (although I have nothing to base my knowledge of her relationship off of except photos). So in reality, I am comparing my relationship (the good “picture perfect” memories, and the bad/boring daily life that comes with marriage) to her “photo perfect” relationship, which is just a snap shot of what her marriage probably is.

Expectedly, my marriage was falling short of the ideal that her photos present.

Today I realized that my marriage was never going to measure up to hers. Besides that fact that I was comparing my entire marriage to a brief snap shot of the happy/perfect moments in her marriage, my marriage is not her marriage. My husband is not her husband, and I am not her. There is no better or worse. No good or bad. Just difference.

The secret to being happy is to focus on what you have, rather than pining over what you don’t have.

My husband is amazing.

He isn’t the kind of guy to play with me in the waves and take cute photos at Disneyland.

But he packs up the car when we go on road trips and have to leave early so all I have to do is wake up and roll out of bed (and then fall asleep in the car while he drives). Β He gives me massages anytime I ask and surprised me with massage oil completely randomly. He laughs when I trip over things and thinks its cute that I can’t tell my left from right.

He is faithful, loving and kind.

We may not have cute pictures, but we have so many other great qualities in our marriage. Qualities that I should appreciate more often.


Have I mentioned that my husband hates taking pictures? lol


4 thoughts on “Jealousy

  1. I love this post! I often feel that way when I see things other couples do too – my husband like yours is not one to take cute pictures of us playing in the waves or at Disneyland but he is faithful, loving, caring, and will do anything he can to make sure I am happy. Like you I need to appreciate the qualities we have more often as well. I think at some point or another everyone feels the way you do…its all part of life. You are a great wife πŸ™‚

  2. I agree that seeing and appreciating the wonderful things in your life is one of the keys to happiness. Just think how it good it feels when you are valued and appreciated πŸ™‚

    I’d also like to add that you are not alone in your reaction to the photos. I remember reading about research done on “Facebook Envy.” Basically: in social media, people often share the most “perfect” moments or present an idealized image. That apparent flawlessness can cause comparison (snapshot perfect moment vs. an entire real life) and create envy. Luckily, I think you’ve found the cure πŸ™‚

    • I’ve head of Facebook Envy too! And I’ve heard about it in regards to patenting. That people often only post good things about their children and “perfect” photos which can make you feel envious, as well as feeling like a bad patent! It’s hard not to fall prey to that and compare your “real” life, to someone else’s “perfect” life.

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