The Dreaded “D” Word

Yesterday my husband texted me as I was on my way to work:

“So Gunny is asking me if I would be willing to push recruiting orders back to go to Afghan….”

My response was: what do you think about it and which would be better for your career?

At that moment, I realized that I am truly a “seasoned” military spouse. I had pretty much no emotional reaction to the news of another upcoming deployment.

It’s not that I love deployments, or want my husband to leave.

After thinking it over, I’ve narrowed it down to two things.

#1: Deployments are part of military life. When someone is in the military, deployments are part of their job. It’s expected. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but for me, it does mean that the news of a deployment doesn’t surprise me or turn my world upside down.

#2: I want my husband to have a successful career. A successful career relies on promotions, which often rely on deployments/experience. Therefore I support my husband volunteering for another deployment, because I don’t see it as him wanting to leave me, but as him wanting to be the best Marine that he can.

Everyone of course has different feelings and reactions to deployments, I certainly don’t propose that my opinion is normal or what everyone should strive towards. But for me, as the spouse of a career Marine, it works.

On a side note, I would rather him do recruiting since we have prepared for that, but it turns out this “request” is not actually a request and they might force him to deploy again at the end of the year. Typical Marine Corps.


saying goodbye before his first deployment – Afghanistan 2010

5 thoughts on “The Dreaded “D” Word

  1. Oo-rah… This is one thing the darn media needs to report more on… The life of the military families protecting us…! You’re a good “spouse”…or may I say wife? 🙂

  2. We enjoy calling these wonderful situations with the military being “volun-told” to do something. I hope that everything works out so that he can take those recruiting orders on time, but from your post it sounds like he’s going back to Afghanistan 😦 Wishing you the best. I understand your sterile feelings toward another deployment. It sinks, but it’s out of our hands :/

  3. I agree with Mustang.Koji – you are a great wife! You accept that deployments are a part of a successful military career and you don’t let it freak you out. I am sure whatever happens you both will be fine! Good luck to you both!

  4. Another good post. I am so bothered by wives who cry their eyes out and act like deployment is happening directly to them and forget that their soldier has more on his shoulders than imaginable. Marrying into the military means taking a silent oath of strength, support, and resilience!

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