I talked a little last week about wives following their dreams and accomplishing their own goals, while at the same time supporting their husband in this military lifestyle.
I recently saw a related debate on Facebook and I’ve found that people tend to fall on two different sides of this issue.
1) First are the ones who put their careers and goals first, not moving with their husband’s in order to finish school or stay at a job that pays well.
“So many women put their lives on hold for their husbands. I understand that it’s apart of the military lifestyle. “You can always get a job” or “Marriage is a lifetime” comments. Exactly.. Marriage is a lifetime! I LOVE my husband, especially for the fact that he did not want me to sacrifice even more when I’ve already sacrificed so much. I love that it was his idea for me to stay in our hometown and go to school and work towards my degree. I also love being able to work for our money and not depend on him completely. My husband LOVES the fact that I’m not a “dependasarus”. I love being independent and helping towards our income.
It is so important to establish yourself instead of giving up everything, that won’t get you very far.”
2) The ones who put their husband’s career first, but still make the effort to work towards accomplishing their own dreams.
“I’m one of those people who doesn’t get it. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything by living with my husband. I get the whole not wanting to give up on your dreams but it’s not hard to do both at all. If you think you can only have one or the other that’s completely wrong. I feel like when you’re married you should be living together not in two states. Marriage is a lifetime, and school and a job will always be available.”
I firmly believe in #2. I have lived with my husband since we got married, and I have still accomplished my dreams by graduating with my bachelors and masters degrees. Even if I get an amazing job after I graduate, I would still quit to move with my husband in January when we PCS. Because he is my husband, my life partner. There will always be another job and another school, but there is only one man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I’m not willing to spend any more time apart from him than I have to because you can’t get that time back.
Which do you agree with?