Not Mutually Exclusive

Last night I went with some friends to a motivational speaking event for military spouses that was sponsored by Camp Pendleton.

There were a few speakers who are well known in the military spouse community, one of whom was Mollie Gross. She is a Marine spouse and comedian who wrote the book Confessions of a Military Spouse

I expected a comedy routine from her, which she delivered with flair. My favorite joke was “watch out for Tricare, because they don’t ‘try’ and they don’t ‘care'” lol

But she also had a very inspirational and motivating aspect to her speech that I really related to.

She talked about following your dreams and working to make them come true, in spite of the obstacles the military throws in to the mix.

I see a lot of wives who feel like they can’t have both, their own goals and dreams, while supporting their husband’s career. That the military always comes first so they might as well just stay home and have babies. And I do believe that is true (the first part at least lol). My husband’s career does come first, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a career too. That I can’t have my own goals and ambitions for my life outside of being a military wife.

My goal has always been to go to college and find a career that I am passionate about. I am now about to graduate with my masters degree at 24 years old and begin the career I have been dreaming of for the last 6 years. And during that entire time I have supported my husband through his military career, 2 deployments, multiple work ups and training and a duty station change.

I am a military wife, a graduate student and a social worker. They are not mutually exclusive.

During Molly’s talk last night she told her story of accomplishing her goals while supporting her husband’s.  She had always wanted to be a comedian, so during her husbands first deployment she started taking classes about how to be a stand up comic and began going to open mike nights and practicing. She is now a well known comedian and author who travels the country, voicing speeches and comedy shows at military bases.

Then she talked about her grandmother, who is her inspiration. She was an Air Force wife for 20+ years, through WWII and Korea. Her grandmother’s goal was to have a big family…so she had 7 children and followed her husband around the world supporting him on the home front and raising their family.

I loved that she included her grandmother and her goal of being a mother and a wife.

Because not everyone wants to go to college. Not everyone wants to work a 9-5 job.

Some women want to be wives and mothers. Some women want to be hairdressers. Some women want to be doctors.

I am not here to say that because I have a college degree I am “better” than wives who choose to stay at home and raise children.

I am saying that I hope that all military spouses know that they can accomplish their goals, no matter what they are. 

And on an somewhat unrelated note, here was my view from last night’s event.

I live in PARADISE!


Del Mar Beach, Camp Pendleton CA


3 thoughts on “Not Mutually Exclusive

  1. Exciting! We just read her book for one of our Book Clubs and I found it so interesting. It would have been great to hear her speak in person. I love the point you make that each woman’s “career” goals being different. I have gotten flack for choosing to be a stay at home mom (for now) despite having earned a college degree.

  2. I planto download her book tonight! This is the first I’ve heard of her – thank you for sharing! Also, I totally agree that we spouses can absolutely meet our own goals and accomplish our dreams. It may take extra time and a lot of flexibility, but it is absolutely possible!

    • I actually didn’t like her book that much lol, too crass for my sense of humor. But a lot of people have really liked it, so I definitely recommend you read it. And she is hilarious in person 🙂

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