I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately, both in my personal life and my professional life.
I have an interview tomorrow about a prospective client. The father of the girl who needs counseling is coming in to see if he judges me to be a good fit, or maybe a good enough therapist, to see his daughter.
A year ago something like that would have given me major anxiety. I would have stressed about the interview, what questions he was going to ask me, what answers I was going to give, and all the many ways that the interview could go.
But now, here I am, a day away from the interview and I haven’t really given it much thought.
I’m not nervous becuase I am confident in who I am and what I have to offer professionally. Am I the most experienced therapist there is? No. Do I have all the answers? No. But I am good at my job, I am always trying to learn and better myself and I love working with teenagers.
I am who I am, and I can offer what I can offer. If this father doesn’t think I am the right therapist for his daughter, then that is fine. It is not a reflection on my skills or my abilities.
In my personal life I have struggled with self-confidence when it comes to my body.
Last week I went out shopping, and I left the house feeling really good about myself.
Then I tried on a few pairs of pants in my normal size, 12, and none of them fit. I had to go up to a size 14 which deflated my self-esteem a little bit.
Then I realized that I was judging myself based on external sources. When I left the house I was completely confident in my body, but because of society’s size system and the perception that a size 14 is “fat”, I started feeling bad about the exact same body that I had just felt good about less than an hour before.
Self-confidence and self-esteem shouldn’t be dependent on external validation. It’s your own internal opinion of yourself that makes you confident.
Someones negative or positive perception of you has no bearing on your own self-confidence. That comes from you.