Self-Confidence

Self-Confidence.

I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately, both in my personal life and my professional life.

I have an interview tomorrow about a prospective client. The father of the girl who needs counseling is coming in to see if he judges me to be a good fit, or maybe a good enough therapist, to see his daughter.

A year ago something like that would have given me major anxiety. I would have stressed about the interview, what questions he was going to ask me, what answers I was going to give, and all the many ways that the interview could go.

But now, here I am, a day away from the interview and I haven’t really given it much thought.

I’m not nervous becuase I am confident in who I am and what I have to offer professionally. Am I the most experienced therapist there is? No. Do I have all the answers? No. But I am good at my job, I am always trying to learn and better myself and I love working with teenagers.

I amΒ who I am, and I can offer what I can offer. If this father doesn’t think I am the right therapist for his daughter, then that is fine. It is not a reflection on my skills or my abilities.

In my personal life I have struggled with self-confidence when it comes to my body.

Last week I went out shopping, and I left the house feeling really good about myself.

Then I tried on a few pairs of pants in my normal size, 12, and none of them fit. I had to go up to a size 14 which deflated my self-esteem a little bit.

Then I realized that I was judging myself based on external sources. When I left the house I was completely confident in my body, but because of society’s size system and the perception that a size 14 is “fat”, I started feeling bad about the exact same body that I had just felt good about less than an hour before.

Self-confidence and self-esteem shouldn’t be dependent on external validation. It’s your own internal opinion of yourself that makes you confident.

Someones negative or positive perception of you has no bearing on your own self-confidence. That comes from you.

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The day I went shopping. I thought I looked good so I took a photo πŸ™‚

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6 thoughts on “Self-Confidence

  1. You look gorgeous in your picture. Something that I learned while working at White House Black Market (from my manager who was a freaking genius at dressing women) was the discrepancy between sizes at various stores.

    I think there’s a chart out in the internet-lands that shows that an Old Navy size 2/4 has the same measurements as a Banana Republic 8. And they’re owned by the same parent company. That’s vanity sizing at it’s finest. Old Navy knows people will be more likely to buy their clothes if they fit in a smaller size, so they cater to that. BR wants the exclusivity feel, so they cater to that.

    At WHBM the sizes could vary between sections of the store. My amazing manager would always try to convince customers to take in a size bigger and a size smaller than what they normally did, blame the fit on the cut of the clothes. He almost always got the women into the right size and they looked amazing. Ever since working with him, I’ve realized that a clothing number is even more arbitrary than a scale number (if it wasn’t true we wouldn’t have to check size charts at every website that sells clothes). It certainly isn’t something to base your self-worth on. I’m glad you didn’t let it get you down.

    Best of luck with the interview. I hope you’re able to help his daughter!

    • That’s is so tue, and something I’ve noticed before! I once bought a size large and XL underwear by different designers, and the L was bigger than the XL when I laid them on top of each other! It really is all about fit and finding clothing that looks good on your body, regardless of the size! πŸ™‚

  2. I LOVE your outfit in that picture you posted!!!! You look beautiful. I totally understand what you mean about the size difference. I recently ordered a bridesmaid dress in a size 12, which is what I wear. I should have known to order it a size or two bigger because you KNOW how those things are ALWAYS sized way low. It arrives and … guess what … it doesn’t fit. And by “doesn’t fit”, I mean I probably should have ordered a size 18. I am NOT a size 18. Ugh! But, like you, I realized that I was judging myself based upon external factors – namely, the fashion industry and what they think I should look like. Later that day I went shopping and bought a few sun dresses in size “small” and a pair of jeans in a size 12. It’s really insane how the fashion industry sizes things!!

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