I am a perfectionist.
I’ve never really noticed it much before because it has always been something that improved my life, instead of hindering it.
I did well in High School, graduated in the top 3% of my class and got accepted to variety of universities. I graduated with my BA Summa Cum Laude and went right on to get my Masters. I’ve never been fired from a job, I am a good employee who follows through with all tasks, is punctual and hard working.
But yesterday I realized that sometimes it can be a hindrance.
For the first time I working in a field that it outside my comfort zone. No matter how many classes I take in graduate school, it takes experience to learn how to be a good therapist. Talking about working with clients and watching videos of therapy is a completely different experience than actually sitting with a person.
So I make mistakes. And I HATE it. I am so hard myself, like I should somehow know exactly what to say and exactly what to do. Because for most of my life, I have. College isn’t that complicated, you go to class, do your homework and you’ll pass the class. Take the right amount of classes and you’ll get a degree. It’s not rocket science!. But therapy, that’s rocket science lol.
I’m trying to take it in stride though and not be as hard on myself now that I’m aware that I am such a perfectionist. Even though I would like to be perfect at my job (or as close to it as I can) some things can only be learned through experience. So every choice I make and every session I have teaches me what to do or what not to do in the future. And someday I will be an awesome therapist 🙂